‘Is this all there is?’ Retirement can be a painful transition if we don’t adjust our thinking

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This article is part of The Conversation's Retirement series where experts look at issues like how much money we need to live off in retirement, retiring with debt, the emotional impact of retiring, and the benefits of getting financial guidance.

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Fair dinkum, it's not entirely unrealistic to anticipate that the retirement phase will knock on for about 20 years, maybe a bit longer. How should people be tackling it?

Are retirees satisfied?

Over 55 years old who said they had fully or largely retired from the workforce.

Most were as happy as a clam (51%) or fairly satisfied (35%) with their life after retirement, and more than half reckoned their life in retirement was better (47%) or just as sweet (39%) as it was when they were working.

What do Aussies knock off for good bring out in themselves?

Outback retirees said freedom meant sleeping in, taking road trips, spending time with mates and family, giving the old place a makeover, enjoying the garden, getting in shape, going to art classes, learning how to speak Italian, and living it up if they could afford it.

But even freedom can come with a downside. One woman from the study said after four months, she had had a gutful of it, asking “Is this all there is?”

So what did retirees miss most? Finances were a major bugbear for almost 20%, and about a third felt their financial situation had taken a hit, even though they'd mostly worked in professional and white-collar jobs.

But the things they missed most were social – the chance to meet new mates, to get involved in new things and activities, and to feel like they were getting a sense of purpose. They said things like:

I'm searching for the camaraderie that comes with working in a team. Missing some of the social connections that I previously experienced.

Work not only provides a income and social interaction, it also has the capacity to give people a sense of importance and direction. Some retired individuals commented specifically on this

I'm feeling a bit lost without a clear direction. Although working was really consuming, at least I felt like I was achieving something. Lately, the lack of a sense of purpose is leaving me feeling unfulfilled, like I'm meant to be doing something else.

Identity loss

Work gives us a sense of pride and importance; it helps us feel more confident about who we are. Reaching our targets at work can really boost our self-confidence and how we see ourselves.

When we meet a new person, often the first thing they'll ask is "what do you do for a job?" It can feel like your work is what makes you who you are, rather than you being a complex person with lots of different sides.

It's little wonder that in our research participants often cited retirement as a challenge to their sense of self.

The retirement journey

It's fair dinkum that it's worth keeping in mind that retirement isn't just a big milestone, it's a bit of a journey.

We've got to change our roles and expectations, even when dealing with life's big thrills, like having a kid or winning the lottery – and all that brings with it.

G'day mate, we can expect to feel a fair dinkum mix of emotions – the good and the not-so-good – as we give things a go, cop a failure or two, feel a bit down in the dumps, try again and eventually settle into a whole new world.

These changes might be more significant for retirees who switch from full-time employment to full-time leisure, than for those who ease into part-time or casual work or quickly pick up new activities they've been looking forward to for years.

A period usually exists after the retirement of workers, a honeymoon period, in which they feel relieved due to the removal of the constraints of working life.

However, the initial sense of freedom soon loses its appeal. Some retirees go through a stage where they start to feel a bit meh about life. It can feel dull, lacking a sense of purpose or overwhelmed by household responsibilities and activities that don't challenge or excite them.

Mate, the "best years of our lives"

The final stage involves adapting and transforming, where someone redefines their sense of self through moving on to new activities and pursuits that bring them a sense of meaning and purpose.

This shift often involves reassessing relationships with family and mates as well as giving new activities, hobbies and social groups a go.

Over time, most retirees create a new identity for themselves, working outside of their work. New daily routines, connections with others and new life goals are established. Many describe these years as the best of their lifetime.

What makes a happy and fulfilling retirement?

Understanding how people adapt to and feel satisfied with their retirement is a complex process, considering the numerous factors that need to be taken into account.

But these are often boiled down to several key factors including physical health, finances, mental wellbeing, hobbies, and blending in with the community.

Women tend to have less trouble adjusting socially.

Women generally have stronger non-work social networks, are more established in their communities, and have a more varied sense of identity than blokes who mainly define themselves by their job.

For retirement, men generally fare better than a bloke who takes time off work for the kids or other caring duties. Women also fill many of the lower paid jobs.

Planning before retirement ensures a secure retirement.

Work out what’s important

It's not all about the money. A sound exit strategy from the workforce should also focus on planning for your lifestyle, including what you'll do after retiring, exploring new hobbies and interests, keeping your mind and body in good shape, and staying connected with friends and family.

among those aged seniors, especially those who don't have a partner.

How will you construct a new social existence that might involve, but shouldn't rely on, your former work mates? How will you navigate a family life that keeps you linked without turning into a household servant?

A well-planned retirement

Retirement can be a ripper of a phase in life where you can give your relationships a good spruce-up and chase after the things you never had time for when your focus was on building your career and settling down at home.

It's a time to live out some of your aspirations, tackle your bucket list perhaps, and have some enjoyment along the way as well as planning the sort of legacy you'll leave for future generations.

What's the secret? In a nutshell, plan your finances, keep healthy with a good lifestyle, stay connected with others, test yourself mentally, stay positive, and be adaptable.

Susan Moore was previously sponsored by Swinburne University.